Just Mommy and Baby

Well, this week it's just mommy and baby. Thank goodness for baby, or mommy would be very lonely!

Adam is at a Lighthouse Retreat this week, serving families who have children with cancer. He is the emcee for the week, which means that he's the "fun" guy who lets everyone know what they will be doing each day, and I am at home holding down the fort without him. 

I don't know about you, but I HATE it when my hubby and I are separated. If I had it my way, we wouldn't spend another night apart for the rest of our lives   for a very long time. Sheesh! Can't wait for him to get back...ok on to other things.

About a month ago, our local bible study started back up again, and once again, I am amazed at what God is teaching me through these women. And to think, I almost didn't sign up.  Last year I wasn't  in a core group. I taught the home school kids who came with their moms. So when this year rolled around, I had a decision to make. Would I teach the kids again? Be in a  core group? Or not do it at all?  Just between you and me, part of me didn't want to do it at all. They do have childcare, but I didn't know how Jackson would do, when I would feed him etc. etc. I think those were just excuses because, newsflash, I don't really like change! And I had just just settled into a nice routine with my little man. Anyway, I bit the bullet and signed up to be in a core group. And I am SO incredibly glad that I did. Jackson does great every Wednesday (the lady who keeps him is excellent), and God has been teaching me a ton of stuff so far. Lesson learned: don't let fear cripple you!

Jackson is about 3 weeks away from being halfway through his first year! I cannot believe how fast time flies. So far, I love this age/stage the best. Mainly because he can reach out and touch my face, and because I can so easily make him laugh:) I also love how observant he is. When I take him outside, or when we walk into a place he's never been, his face lights up in wonder. It's like I can see his brain working to identify all of what he is seeing. Each day I'm also getting a few more glimpses into Jackson's budding personality, which is so fun to see. I love learning what makes him laugh (tickling his hip bone, or collar bone) and what makes him frustrated (the star toy on his exersaucer.. we actually had to remove it from the exersaucer because Jackson kept getting so very mad at it).

And, thank goodness, he has been sleeping wonderfully lately. For awhile he was sleeping about 9-10 hours at night. Then we hit a roadblock of teething, rolling, and congestion.  Now that his first tooth has popped though (thank goodness!) and he can roll both ways, he is sleeping much better now! He now averages 10-10.5 hours at night. And some mornings he wakes, but happily plays for another 30 minutes or so which means 11 hours for me in my bed:) Well, I'm not technically in my bed for 11 hours, but you get the point.

Onto something non-baby related....If you like to read, and you like adoption stories, but you don't mind shedding a few tears, I highly recommend you read Mary Beth Chapman's Book Choosing to See.  Mary Beth is Steven Curtis Chapman's wife (the famous christian music guy) , and about 2 years ago one of their adopted daughters was tragically killed in an accident involving her older brother. It was a terrible terrible terrible tragedy. BUT, Mary Beth has hope, and she shares it boldly and courageously, and at times gut-wrenchingly honestly in her book. There was one point in the book where I had to literally put it down because I was crying so hard. But I don't say that to discourage you from reading it. I cried because I was so overwhelmed with how short life is, and with just how so very good our God is. He is so good. He brings hope where there appears to be none. Praise God. Anyway, get the book. It will minister to you!

Ok, well I think that wraps things up for now. I am going to turn off the Food Network Channel (that I have kept on for just about 24 hours a day since Adam's been gone. It has become "background music" while I'm home:) and I'm going to hit the sack. Goodnight!

Jackson update!

Well for days and days....er weeks and weeks...I've been telling myself that I need to chronicle what happens in our life. If anything, I want to have written down (or typed) what Jackson is doing, learning, how he is growing (and boy is he growing) etc. etc.  So, here goes!


Our little guy is almost 5 months, and I CANNOT believe how fast time flies! Seriously, I feel like we just had him, and his first year is almost half over! Sheesh. Anyway, 3 weeks ago at his 4 month checkup, he weighed 18.5 pounds and was 27 inches long!! And he is mostly wearing 9month-12 month clothes. We have a big boy. 

We just started him on cereal, and he is still getting used to it! I think he is most upset about having to be strapped down and somewhat still for a long period of time. I'm telling you, he wants to move all the time. I'm hoping that he will be more willing to sit still for fruits and veggies, since the cereal is sort of on the bland side. And speaking of baby food, I think we are going to make our own. I've done some research and besides being cheaper, I think it will be fun! I'll keep you updated on when I start that.

A couple of weeks ago we got out Jackson's exersaucer, and he LOVED it! Lately, however, he has more of a love/ hate relationship with it because he can't get all the toys all the way into his mouth. Adam and I just laugh and laugh at him! We try to distract him from the "Sun" toy. That toy seems to aggravate him the most. And we try to direct his attention to the puppet on the exersaucer, that Adam so cleverly named, "Fred".  :) Jackson is too funny!

Also, Jackson loves to play under his floor gym. He will literally do circles on that thing. Again, we laugh and laugh at him as he holds on to the bar of the gym and flips himself around. 

Just recently he has gotten pretty good control over his hands. My absolute favorite thing he does is put his hands on my face. I will hold him, and he will just look up at me and place both hands on my face while smiling. Those moments just melt my heart!

As far as Adam and me, well we are doing great. Adam just held a weekend retreat for some of his student ministry team. They had some training, and did some vision casting for the next year. Adam is so great at what he does.  I am still working part- time at home for a company that I do believe is one of the greatest companies that exist, and I am attending a weekly bible study that I love. I also still lead the senior girl's small group at church, and I just joined a book club! Yeah! I'm so excited about that. 

Anyway, I am learning every day a little bit more about Christ's love for me through my love for my child. I am also learning just how little control I have over my life. Sometimes I try so hard to make days go the way I think they should go, and then NOTHING goes as planned. I am wired to crave routine, and I do believe that the Lord is ever so sweetly teaching me that He ultimately knows what is best, and I must trust Him. His grace is sufficient for me!


Be blessed,
Monica

40 weeks

I know I posted this a few days ago..but my heart is SO FULL! I can't describe the overwhelming feeling of excitement and peace that I feel. It seems odd that I would feel both of those emotions, but oddly enough, that it exactly how I feel. Adam and I have been praying very specifically over this pregnancy the past 9 months (well more than that), and it is a dream to watch it all unfold.

Today will be the last pregnancy post!

Let me just let that sink in.

Our little boy is so close to meeting us! Since we knew this last weekend would be our last weekend with just the two of us, we went on a date! And it was honestly, one of the best weekends we have ever had! Not that you care to know, but I will in the future, let me recap what we did! We both got somewhat dressed up, which for me meant a nice top and jeans (no dresses fit!) And before we left we took some video of us talking about Jackson, and how we were excited. Adam got some video of my ginormous belly, and we videoed Jackson's room. Adam also did a little dance on the video for our sweet son:) Then we took some pictures of us, and Jackson!

That night we went to Cheeburger Cheeburger (my newest crave) and of course, I ordered what made the 4th chocolate milkshake I had had  in a week in a half!  After that we went and saw "Date Night" which I strongly recommend- it was HYSTERICAL! Honestly, we laughed the entire movie. 

It was such a sweet time for us. Over dinner, and when we got home, all we talked about was how excited we were and how our lives were about to change forever. This entire experience has drawn Adam and I so much closer together, and we know that the next few days will only deepen our relationship with one another. 

Right now Adam is at work making some cd's of our favorite worship music for us to take to the hospital, and I'm about to go write down some verses we've been praying the past several months. Our hearts desire is that no matter what, we will be able to bring God glory through this experience. We want to be able to bless God since he has already blessed us!

Here are some pictures of us from the weekend, and some 40 week  belly pictures!

Mid-week Post...My heart is so full!

I know I've been very disciplined to post every week, but my heart is so full right now, I just have to pour it out! We are mere days away from meeting our sweet boy. 

We went into the doctor's office yesterday and found out that there is some progress going on in my body! (slightly dilated, slightly effaced). Since my due date is Monday, my Doctor wants to check me again on Monday and then, I'll either be admitted for induction Monday night, or sometime during the rest of the week, but no later than Thursday. Honestly, Adam and I were SO excited yesterday. Somehow, hearing a possible date made everything SO real.

I feel in my heart that he is coming soon. My body is giving me signs that it is ready, and yesterday morning I woke up with a feeling in my heart that Jackson was ready, like the Lord was saying, "It's ok for him to come now; he's fine." Adam and I have been so desperately praying for Jackson not to come until he is full term and absolutely ready- not until God was finished forming him. And yesterday when I felt the Lord speak to me, peace absolutely took over. I was able to "let go" if you will, and know that from this point forward, any day would be perfect. 

Honestly, I can't believe 40 weeks have passed. The other day I read through my journal entries from a year ago- and it is unbelievable how obvious it is to me (now) that God was preparing me for this pregnancy. Allow me to be vulnerable for a moment..this entry was from March 30th of last year:

Oh wow. How do I begin to talk about what all I have been through. I keep feeling disappointed, as if what I wanted would have been greater or better than what God wanted. I have learned so much:

• what I believe about God’s sovereignty


• that  I need God all the time, even before the bad happens


• that I can’t plan my future


• that Adam is the greatest husband


• that I’m not on a schedule


• God loves me enough to do what is hard


• that pregnancy is a miracle


• that children are a blessing


• how to pray with faith


• how to deal with fear

God did teach me so much, and everything I learned only contributed to making this pregnancy even more of a blessing! God has stretched my faith in ways during this pregnancy that you wouldn't believe. You might even think I was crazy if I told you! And the amazing thing is at the same time, God has been stretching and growing Adam's faith. We both have been able to believe God for several things during this pregnancy, and we have had the joy of watching God actually do the things we prayed for!

Now that we are days away from meeting our boy, we realize that a new journey is beginning. We have been praying each night that God gets a hold of Jackson's heart, and that Jackson learns to live life  loving God and loving others. If Jackson turns out the slightest bit like his dad, he'll be great:) Anyway, please  be praying for us this next week as we embark upon a journey that is going to change our lives!

Here's a pic of something I painted last night for Jackson's room!

39 weeks!

And we are 7 days from my due date! Wonder what day Jackson will arrive? The excitement is killing me!:) I am SO excited! I'm still feeling good- just some allergies have gotten me down a bit! But today, when I was outside I put some vaseline on my nose to keep out the pollen- haha- we will see if that helped at all! And the past couple of nights I've slept pretty well. I still get up after Adam leaves to work out (5AM) and migrate to the couch.  The couch just seems to feel so  much better. My appetite has also been somewhat crazy. Some days I have no appetite at all, and other days I can't seem to get full all day. I don't know if either is a sign up impending labor..who knows?!

Also, Jackson is still moving like a mad man. He rolls from side to side, and now that he is bigger, when he hiccups, my whole stomach shakes. I LOVE when he hiccups! Also, when he has his leg up near my ribs, I feel like I could literally grab hold of it through my skin.  Being able to feel his limbs like that is unbelievable! 

I have another appt. Thursday, and although I would love to hear the Doctor say I'm so many centimeters dilated etc., he is sure to remind me that those are still not indicators of when our little man will arrive. So we are just waiting! Fortunately, I'm not going crazy. Lots of people have asked me if I'm miserable yet, and thankfully, I'm not. Adam and I are still making plans for the week/ weekend.  We can't just wait around twiddling our thumbs:) Then, I would really go crazy!

One of my friends who teaches is on spring break, and she invited me over to swim sometime this week. Is it crazy for a 39 1/2 week pregnant momma to be in a swim suit swimming?! I hope not:)

I've been inspired by my friend Jenny's blog, to make a list of what I will miss, and what I will not miss with this pregnancy. Here is my list:

What I will NOT miss:
1) Having to hold my belly and literally move it over with me when I turn over in bed
2) Having to sleep on my side
3) How difficult it is to pick things up off the floor
4) The fact that my chest rests on my belly, and my belly rests on my thighs when I sit down:)
5) The road map of a belly I've been sporting these last few weeks (lots of veins have made their appearance!)
6) Using the bathroom every, oh, 30 minutes or so
7) Having to stay away from blue cheese, too much caffeine, and the occasional glass of wine
8) The feeling that my stomach is so stretched, it just might split open
9) waddling
10) Complete strangers asking me very personal questions about my pregnancy!


What I WILL miss terribly:
1) Jackson literally being with me at all times
2) Jackson's hiccups
3) How much more feminine I feel when pregnant
4) Adam being the sweet husband he is and tying my shoes:) 
5) Watching Adam talk to Jackson through my belly
6) Food tasting SO good!
7)  The kids' (from church) hysterical reaction and questions about my belly
8) The excitement and anticipation of not knowing what Jackson will look like
9) Watching God answer our prayers every step of the way during this pregnancy
10)The constant reminder that God is performing a miracle every second of every day within my body


And here are some belly pics:
FYI- 1) the veins on my belly (thank goodness) do not show up as much on pictures, maybe because of the flash! 
2) I asked the doctor about me "dropping" and he said that sometimes babies don't drop until labor begins...Also, because I have such a short torso, if Jackson is long, it won't look like I've dropped at all when maybe I have..again..who really knows?! 

So, there you go! This journey has been an incredible one so far! Only a few more posts  before he is here!  Anyone want to try and predict Jackson's birthday?

There is a little boy living inside of me:) 38 weeks

Well, here I am! Two weeks away from my due date. Because I can feel how big Jackson is, I get emotional just thinking about how a mere few inches of skin (and muscle, and uterus..blah blah..) are separating us from our boy!!Our boy, who I have a feeling, will be very long! The other day Adam and I watched as the right top of my belly stuck up (Jackson's booty) and at the same time..to the left side of my stomach a foot kept poking out! If I pushed on his booty, he would push out that foot! It was awesome...until it started to hurt..haha. But awesome none the less!

I read somewhere that your belly slows down its growth the last few weeks of pregnancy..I think that's a lie. My belly looks and feels much larger!! If I had a dollar for how many strangers ask me if I have a basketball in my shirt, I would be rich! It's amazing what strangers say to you when you are pregnant! In one afternoon I had 3 women tell me that it looks like I'm about to pop Jackson out right there (in Target). Umm..that's a negative! People are crazy! 

We are getting SO excited about having him!! I can't believe that by the end of this month, he will be out in the world with us!! I've been having stronger and stronger Braxton Hicks, so I hope that's good! A couple of times, they were pretty intense and pretty rhythmic (every 10 minutes for an hour)...but then they went away. I've been pretty good about not getting my hopes up though. I'm looking at all of this as "practice contractions" for the real deal! But I can't wait for the real deal! 

Yesterday we celebrated Easter, and I could just kick myself for forgetting to take some pictures! But we had a beautiful day. Church was awesome as usual..and we spent the rest of the afternoon with the Fountains and their extended family. Between the food and the sweet kids, it was a great day! 

Also, not that you care to know..but I got a pedicure the other day! And a couple of hours after getting it, I decided I didn't like the color I picked out...so instead of paying more money to go back and get another color, I...drum roll please...repainted them myself! And let me tell you..it was a BAD idea! It took me a good hour to find enough positions to get to each toenail. I will say though, after wards I was quite pleased with how well I did. I just won't be painting them again until after Jackson is born.

Anyway, there isn't a whole lot of news to share. We still have to install Jackson's car seat, but we are doing that sometime this week. And I think this weekend we are headed to a BBQ festival with some friends! 

Here are some 38 week pictures...watch out! My belly has enough veins showing through that it could, quite possibly, be mistaken for a road map! Enjoy!

(P.S. I still laugh at some of the earlier pictures when I thought by belly was SO HUGE!- yeah I had no idea.)

Weekly Appointment #1

So today we had our first of, hopefully only a couple, weekly appointments! And it went GREAT!!! The doctor said that he could feel Jackson's head, so he is head down! YAY! and that my cervix is soft..sorry if that it TMI. Anyway, because of that, and because I'm having more intense Braxton Hicks contractions (some are rhythmic, and some could be real contractions) he said it shouldn't be long before I start to dilate, and that he doesn't think I'll go past my due date! YAY again! 

He also said that he doesn't like to induce first time moms, but they will definitely induce me if I go a week past my due date. I would rather go into labor on my own since it's my first, and I guess I'm just anxious to experience the process, but if I'm sitting at 41 weeks, I'll do anything!:) 

Anyway, we really have no idea when our little man will come, so we will just have to see! But as for now, things are looking good!  Thanks for your prayers! God is faithful:)