We went into the doctor's office yesterday and found out that there is some progress going on in my body! (slightly dilated, slightly effaced). Since my due date is Monday, my Doctor wants to check me again on Monday and then, I'll either be admitted for induction Monday night, or sometime during the rest of the week, but no later than Thursday. Honestly, Adam and I were SO excited yesterday. Somehow, hearing a possible date made everything SO real.
I feel in my heart that he is coming soon. My body is giving me signs that it is ready, and yesterday morning I woke up with a feeling in my heart that Jackson was ready, like the Lord was saying, "It's ok for him to come now; he's fine." Adam and I have been so desperately praying for Jackson not to come until he is full term and absolutely ready- not until God was finished forming him. And yesterday when I felt the Lord speak to me, peace absolutely took over. I was able to "let go" if you will, and know that from this point forward, any day would be perfect.
Honestly, I can't believe 40 weeks have passed. The other day I read through my journal entries from a year ago- and it is unbelievable how obvious it is to me (now) that God was preparing me for this pregnancy. Allow me to be vulnerable for a moment..this entry was from March 30th of last year:
Oh wow. How do I begin to talk about what all I have been through. I keep feeling disappointed, as if what I wanted would have been greater or better than what God wanted. I have learned so much:
- what I believe about God’s sovereignty
- that I need God all the time, even before the bad happens
- that I can’t plan my future
- that Adam is the greatest husband
- that I’m not on a schedule
- God loves me enough to do what is hard
- that pregnancy is a miracle
- that children are a blessing
- how to pray with faith
- how to deal with fear
God did teach me so much, and everything I learned only contributed to making this pregnancy even more of a blessing! God has stretched my faith in ways during this pregnancy that you wouldn't believe. You might even think I was crazy if I told you! And the amazing thing is at the same time, God has been stretching and growing Adam's faith. We both have been able to believe God for several things during this pregnancy, and we have had the joy of watching God actually do the things we prayed for!
Now that we are days away from meeting our boy, we realize that a new journey is beginning. We have been praying each night that God gets a hold of Jackson's heart, and that Jackson learns to live life loving God and loving others. If Jackson turns out the slightest bit like his dad, he'll be great:) Anyway, please be praying for us this next week as we embark upon a journey that is going to change our lives!
Here's a pic of something I painted last night for Jackson's room!
You are such a precious mom! I love you and know you will be such a tremendous parent. Jackson is very fortunate and blessed to have parents like you two.
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