I'm really finding it very hard to believe that we are at least halfway there! Honestly, this pregnancy has been such a blessing. God has absolutely blown Adam and I away with his provision, and sheer blessing during this pregnancy. You know, while we were praying about having children, Adam and I decided that when I got pregnant, we would do everything we could to honor and glorify God in this pregnancy. We wanted to reclaim, if you will, the idea of pregnancy and show people that pregnancy is from the Lord, and if we allow it to be, it can be a beautiful picture of God's relationship with us, of our total dependence on Him. Each night of this pregnancy, Adam and I have prayed that God would keep knitting this child together in my womb for His glory and His kingdom.
If anything, Adam and I have learned that we can do NOTHING! We are totally dependent on God to keep this child alive and healthy. As sobering as that thought was the first trimester (since I was dealing with fear), that truth now has rested in my soul, and has provided me with the freedom to truly enjoy this time. If we can do nothing, then we must surrender every second of every day to the Lord- and that has changed our lives.
As far as the simple stuff goes, here is a rundown of symptoms, cravings, oddities, etc. that I am experiencing:
CRAVINGS- nothing! haha (am I the only pregnant lady yet to have craved something weird??) but I am still very very hungry!
SYMPTOMS- one small nose bleed- gross uh?!; insane dreams; long fingernails; multiple trips to the potty during the night (baby sits on my bladder:) ; increased sense of smell (which can be good and bad)
ODDITIES- so they say that when you are pregnant some women have patches of skin that change colors, as for me, there is one spot on my right knee that is now several shades darker than the rest of my leg! Funny uh? At least it's not somewhere more noticeable!
Ok so I left off a couple of symptoms that I'm sure you do not want to hear about! For the super curious minds, you can email me, and I will be glad to fill you in:)
Let me leave you with two precious notes. First, I feel baby Jackson kicking everyday, and I absolutely LOVE every small reminder that he is in there, alive and active! Sometimes he punches, sometimes he kicks, and lately he's been doing flips, that honestly feel very strange! When he flips, my whole stomach feels like it vibrates. Adam has yet to feel Jackson kicking, but he has started talking to our little man. He tells him the cutest stuff, mainly things like, "Your mom is so crazy! Can you believe she married me?" haha, or "Jackson, sooner or later you are going to have to kick hard enough for me to feel." I have a feeling, he will do just that in the coming weeks!
Second, I thought this was so precious, I just had to share. When we told our pastor, his wife, and their 4 kids that we were having a boy, they made a very big deal about it! They were all so excited for us! Even the kids were beside themselves. Anyway, their little daughter, who is 5, and who asks about Jackson each time she sees me, came up to me, put her little hand on my belly and said, "Monica, God has blessed you." Of course, my eyes filled with tears. She is right. Jackson is a blessing, and God has indeed blessed me. I love when God chooses to use children to speak truth to us.
I hope you and your family are having fun decorating for the holidays! I pray we all remember the truth of why we celebrate. Don't let this Christmas pass without sharing time with the God who gave us everything so that we may know Him. Praise Jesus!
And finally, here are some 20 week pictures! Enjoy!